Allow me to give you a little piece of myself.
It’s private and raw and jagged around the edges.
It’s something I used to carry as a burden and now carry as a sacred and precious gift.
And no matter the whispering of tightness in my chest,
I want to share it.
Something I realized not too long ago, is that in order to be the freest version of myself, I needed to let go of the excess weight. For as long as I could remember I had carried a burdensome amount of weight, replete with guilt and shame and self blame. It was heavy and uncomfortable, and it was a burden I was willing to carry simply because I thought I had to.
Until I learned that I didn’t.
A wise girl once said “Let that shit go” and she lived happily ever after.
A Wise Woman.
This carrying of burdening weight, in guilt and shame and self-blame, it’s a very common thing and I now recognize it often in the work that I do with clients. One of the challenges that I’ve come to understand as necessary, in the process of overcoming a disordered or dysfunctional relationship with food and body, is one of FORGIVENESS.
Inviting Forgiveness into Recovery
What’s important to note here is that every individual’s path to recovery is unique. While one individual may benefit from Self Discovery Practices and Embodiment, another may require a more Mindset and Dietary focused approach. Every individual’s story is different and thus, their recovery journey must be tailored specifically to meet their needs.
The concept of exploring Forgiveness within the recovery journey, then, may resonate more strongly with one individual than the next, and that is the nature of the work.
Forgiveness Concepts Worth Exploring:
Forgiving the Self: Many individuals with a dysfunctional past hold themselves accountable and face feelings of regret, guilt, and associated shame. When moving in the direction of recovery, it can be transformative and freeing to allow these feelings to come forward, acknowledge them, then set them free, supported by the deeper knowing that these emotions are no longer useful or supportive of recovery.
Forgiving Influential Individuals: Many of us have been influenced into dysfunctional behaviours by those around us and, often, the ones we have looked up to most. And it’s ok to have feelings about this. What I’ve seen many times in my practice, and witnessed first hand within my own recovery, is that holding on to blame with regards to where the dysfunction may have come from, does not serve us in any way. Inviting forgiveness into this relationship, acknowledging that mistakes were likely not purposeful, and moving forward and out of the damage inflicted by the blame, THAT is much more important and supportive than sticking with it.
Forgiving Lineage: For many, a long line of dysfunctional family relations and behaviours may have influenced our story. Similarly to the comments above, it is ok to have feelings about this, AND it’s imperative to acknowledge that hanging on to blame is not productive and does not support recovery. It can be incredibly freeing to invite forgiveness for family or ancestors that may have contributed to dysfunction around food and body. Negative ancestral influence does not need to be carried forward and there is great power in breaking the cycle.
Forgiving Society: As so many of us are aware, the role of societal influence in negative body image and dysfunctional food relationships is massive. The great shift in media and food industry influence back in the 60s and 70s took a great hold on its listeners and that movement affected a continuum that we are still desperate to rebalance today. And yet, what is done is done. It’s important to evaluate what we have control over: ourselves, our reactions, whether or not we choose to face old wounds and heal them or allow them to break us down. In recent years, we have more access to truth than ever before - practitioners, influencers, medicals professionals - exposing truths about society and the food industry. We have the ability right now to let go of what has already happened and make educated decisions moving forward. If we so choose.
Acceptance & Moving Forward: Whatever your story, whatever has influenced you in your life so far, whatever has already happened, has happened and cannot be changed. That is true for us all. We cannot change ANYTHING that has already occurred. But. AND, we CAN change and influence what is yet to come! To carry blame, shame, guilt, and regret, for what has already occurred, does NOT serve you. Infact, it will weigh you down and likely get in the way of your ability to be your most authentic and vibrant self. Allowing acceptance & forgiveness, means to allow the natural progression of life evolve. There is will ALWAYS be difficulty. There will ALWAYS be challenge. And there will ALWAYS be opportunities for growth, expansion, and evolution. But if we are so weighed down by the past and its burden, we may miss them along the way.
Forgiveness is not always easy and does not come naturally for many, but it is the MOST freeing thing you can do for yourself when choosing a new path.
Consider this: the weight of hanging on is not worth missing the freedom of letting go.
I hope you have collected a little wisdom here to support you in your unique journey. If you are interested in working together, please reach out to find out more about how I may be able to support you ♡