While the Holidays bring about many beautiful feelings of connectedness and community, gratitude and joy, for some, they may also be laced with uncomfortable feelings, resurrecting old fears and challenges around food. I have seen this in my practice many times over and feel it within myself still, even after so many years of healing & education.
When we have had a disordered past with Food, the healing work is always present. We may go through periods of time where we feel stable and grounded and capable, and we may also find ourselves faced with challenging times, where old triggers and feelings come forward, and we are thrown new, or familiar, obstacles to overcome.
If you can relate, know that I get you.
It is my experience that Dysfunctional Eating Tendencies will resurface - it’s important to be realistic about this and expect it. They present themselves differently from individual to individual, and can intensify in certain circumstances and relax in others.
The important thing to remember is this:
The more healing work that you do around your Dysfunctional Eating Tendencies, the more tools and support you have to overcome and persevere when challenging times arise.
The Holiday Season can certainly present as a challenging time in this way.
We often find ourselves surrounded by people and food. Gatherings are commonly centered around food, there are often many treat foods lying about, and oftentimes, we connect over potluck or a large meal.
Many folks out there may not see any challenge in these kinds of gatherings.
Others may find it completely overwhelming.
Deep breaths, my friends.
I’ve got some ideas for you.
Taking Care of Dysfunctional Eating Tendencies During The Holidays
Honour Your Needs First: Having had a dysfunction past with food does not need to be a shameful thing. The more we bring light to disordered eating collectively, the more relaxed we can all feel talking about it and helping one another through it. First and foremost, honour yourself. If you are challenged around food and dinner parties, be honest about that and accept it - it’s ok, it’s real, it’s just how it is! If you need to sit a gathering out because it feels too overwhelming for you to attend, you are allowed, it’s ok. If you need to bring along a close friend who knows your challenges well, do that. If you want to only attend for an hour or so because you feel that’s all you can manage, perfect. Honour what you need first.
Bring a Meal You are Comfortable With: When there is a potluck style party, I always suggest to folks out there with food allergies/restrictions, specific preferences, or comfort levels, to bring a food item that they are comfortable with and enjoy. That way you know that there’s at least one thing at the party that you feel ok about eating and if you want to add other things to your plate also, you can. Try not to feel obligated to eat all the food at the party, especially if you know that they contain ingredients that you are not comfortable with or don’t work for you.
Try Not to Graze: When there is food lying about we have this tendency to munch on it whether we are hungry or not. This style of eating is problematic for several reasons: it fosters mindless eating & detachment from hunger and satiation signals, is hard on digestion, and can lead to overconsumption. Instead, put a few things on a plate and try to consume them with intention: sit down, chew slowly, tune in to taste sensations and gut cues, and as much as possible, clean up & put away food in between meals.
Go Slow with Your Food: Taking your time with your food is always important, but even more so when dysfunctional eating tendencies pose risk of resurfacing. Practice being present with your food, center yourself, ground down through your feet, bring your energy down from your head into your belly (see deep breathing below). Take small bites, chew well, tune in to taste sensations, and listen for satiation cues. The goal is to try to drop into your parasympathetic nervous system (rest, relax, digest) as much as possible while eating. The PNS supports better digestion, assimilation, and promotes mindfulness & connectedness between the brain and the gut, and provides a message to mind & body that it is safe and can remain calm.
Tune Inwards Often: Aside from eating, staying in tune with the body and mind is paramount. The more centered and connected we are during the Holidays, the more we will make decisions from a place of compassion, love, & joy, than from impulse, reactivity, or distraction. Practice regular check ins and include daily practices that support mindfulness: meditation, deep breathing, yoga, exercise, time in nature, baths, & journaling.
Take Deep Breaths: Deep breathing is incredibly calming for the Nervous System and is an exercise that takes just minutes, promoting the creation of new neural pathways in the brain, training the body to relax. I recommend taking 5 deep, diaphragmatic breaths before eating at every meal and snack, or as much possible, to further support better digestion and calm, connectedness with food. It can also be a beautiful practice to integrate 5 minutes of deep breathing in the morning, first thing upon waking, and 5 minutes at night before bed. Deep breathing is a beautiful way to communicate with your body, telling it to be calm, that it is safe, and that you are listening.
Express Emotions Through Journaling: The journal is a wonderful place to work through emotions that surface. The best time to journal is when you experience emotions or thoughts that surface and need a little help being filtered and worked through. If you notice that old tendencies arise during the Holidays, be curious about them: what are they trying to say or communicate to you? What can you learn from their presence? Take it to the journal, allow the feelings and expressions flow, and see if you can step away from this exercise feeling lighter and a bit more grounded.
It is the challenging times that teach us the most.
Listen to what you are meant to learn from your challenges.
Rise up to the opportunity of growth.
If you are ever looking for further support and guidance with Dysfunctional Eating tendencies and healing, please REACH OUT to find out more about working together.
Happy Holidays friends.
Breathe. Rest. Connect. Listen.
♡